10 Ways to Spend a Dreaded Valentine’s Day if You’re Single

Valentine's Day

Married couples struggle with it. Single people struggle with it. Couples that have only been dating a short time really struggle with it.

Yep, Valentine’s Day is back to haunt us yet again. How much should I fuss? How little should I fuss? Do we need to go out to some high priced dinner? Do I have to send roses on the one day they cost too much? Is a card enough? Is this the right day to propose or Oh God! does she expect me to propose?

Valentine’s Day is difficult for people in relationships but it is still much harder on those who are not – widows and divorcees who have lost their true loves and the singles out there who are looking for love.

While Hallmark and Hallmark Channel, king of Valentine’s Day, creates enough movies to fill their February slots with “Countdown to Valentine’s Day”, other channels will be airing “I Hate Valentine’s Day”, the 2009 movie starring Nia Vardalos and John Corbett of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” fame. Of course, it is a love story.

What’s a single girl to do?

Although I am in a relationship and have been for the last five years, I was divorced in the last century, so I had plenty of years to hate Valentine’s Day. In the spirit of full disclosure, I should admit I am not too fond of it now, although I love the Hallmark movies.

Here are 10 things I recommend to get through Valentine’s Day

1/ Send your single friends valentines – I love sending and receiving cards, real cards, not eCards. Go buy a package of cards that kids would put in decorated shoe boxes and have some fun. How nice for people to get these in the mail instead of another bill.

2/ Buy yourself chocolate or flowers the day after Valentine’s Day. They will be on sale (cheap), you will enjoy them just as much, and you can look forward to savoring them. The anticipation is most of the fun anyway.

3/ Remember when your mother said “just because they are doing it, doesn’t mean you should. Would you jump off a bridge if your friends did?” This is one of those ‘don’t jump off a bridge’ moments. Treat February 14th as any other day. You don’t have to be doing what everyone else does. Do the opposite and throw an “Anti Valentine’s Party”. Lots of ideas on how to do it right are available on Pinterest. 

4/ Read some of the blogs people have written about hating Valentine’s Day. Believe me there are a ton of them. Here are a few of my favorites….

10 Additional Reasons to Hate Valentine’s Day | The Plunge  

Why I hate Valentine’s Day, and, why you should too! | Free Press

Why We Love/Hate Valentine’s Day | Psychology Today

5/ Indulge yourself in whatever makes you happy. For me, it’s a glass of good wine, a hot bath and an even hotter romance. Treat yourself to a night doing something that fires all your happiness synapses.

6/ Dress up and go out. One year when I was still a corporate stooge, I had an employee assigned to a client here in Chicago. We wanted to get together to catch up since I managed him remotely and only rarely were we able to meet face to face. The only night we both had available? February 14th of course. We made a reservation at a very nice restaurant and despite having a good 20-30 years on him, the wait staff assumed we were a couple. Ditto a few years later when my sister and I dined out in Vegas during a girls’ trip that spanned that date. She and I played it up, cooing and holding hands for them by the time dessert was served. In both cases, we enjoyed great meals and the excellent – if misguided – attention.

7/ Binge a series. I recommend Stranger Things on Netflix. There are only two seasons, 17 episodes, so far, so catch up now before Season 3 comes out. Once you start, you won’t want stop. Clear your calendar and watch a certain lab experiment wreak havoc on a small Indiana town. You’ll cheer for a series that makes a group of bullied smart kids the heroes,and forget what day it is in no time.

8/ Select an activity based on your sign of the Zodiac. No kidding. Here is the link to a blog post outlining an activity for you based on your date of birth. Me, I guess I’ll be traveling.

9/ Celebrate your friendships. Being single is tough, but women are luckier than men on a day celebrating couples because we are better at making and keeping friends. Find a friend who is also alone on Valentine’s Day and make a date to go to the movies, a lecture, or the spa.

10/ Go to the gym. While everyone is stuffing themselves on overpriced rich food and chocolate desserts, use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to jumpstart your new diet or get back to the gym. Have a friend in the same boat? Take her as your gym buddy or invite her to cook a low-carb dinner together.

Embrace being single. I have been married, divorced, in and out of relationships and I promise you, being single and happy is just a matter of attitude. The world is not mostly couples anymore (reference book) and you are not the one person home alone on Valentine’s Day. Snap out of it!

What to Read Next

I am reading “The Candidate” by Alice Ward. It’s a fun way to engage in politics while escaping from them at the same time. Sparks fly when conservative candidate Cameron comes face to face to mysterious Cassandra in “The Black Room.”  Liberal Brooke has been sent to get dirt on the front runner for the White House in 2024, but how can she turn on the man who has turned her on like no one else?

Trust me, it’s not the political debates that make this steamy novel so hard to put down. Enjoy!

Contest of the Week

Starting this week, I will be asking one question testing your knowledge of my books. I will send an eBook of “The Candidate” to the first person to correctly answer this question. Respond here

Where did Randall take Sloane on their first date in Beholden?

  1. A gala for the Children’s Hospital
  2. Dinner at Tru
  3. Wrigley Field
  4. A tasting for a future event
  5. Starbucks

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