Let’s Talk about Sex, baby…

Sex. Just three little letters on a page, but oh, so much emotion. We see the world through the lens of our own backgrounds, history and experiences.

I am no exception.

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Why Age Matters

While I was still young in the 1960’s, I had older sisters and so, despite the fact that I was only peripherally there, I am a product of the 60’s. Free love abounded and the idea of having sex before marriage became acceptable and continued to be so until STDs and AIDS slowed things down late in the 1980’s. Sex was a way to show your love and moving in together before marriage became a norm.. I remember my grandmother’s often quoted philosophy “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free,” but it did not stop me from living with the man who later became my husband. Sorry Grandma, new rules.

By then the die had been cast throughout the country, for better or for worse. For me, romance and the idea of pre-marital sex had become inseparable, because that was my history and my experience. Marriage without the trial run of living together was unimaginable.

Needless to say, when I began writing I included sex in my love stories, because it seemed obvious to me. I found that sexual encounters added tension to my story, and they were a great way to show intimacy and a progression of the romance between my characters. A thwarted kiss creates tension, a kiss complete with a racing heart would indicate interest and signify beginnings, and lovemaking would show commitment to one another.

Why Age Matters – Part 2

[bctt tweet=”The number one comment I get from readers is about sex. ‘Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby’ www.madisonmichael.net/blog ” username=”madisonmichael_”] I get feedback that I need more sex, or less sex. I get comments that the sex is hot, or that it is not. I even have a few people comment that they read for the sex, and more followers who read around it, uncomfortable with it being in the story.

None of these comments are from younger people, by which I mean under 35. They take sex for granted in relationships. While my generation tied sex to love, used it as a symbol of love, young people seem to have none of that emotion attached to sex. They want sex, they find sex and then they move on. Not all of them of course! But far more college age and even high school age kids than I expected told me they could and did detach love from sex.

Comfort Levels and Experience

I want to write sexy novels about couples who have electric, hot sex lives. Experts say that the number one sexual fantasy of women is the threat of discovery during sex – usually through an encounter in a place where someone might come upon them. I don’t think many of us live out this fantasy, perhaps our better judgment prevails, perhaps our partner is reluctant, perhaps we fear arrest for indecent exposure. But we fantasize about it. And most of us do not marry men with millions of dollars who buy us extravagant gifts and live in penthouses, even if that is the Cinderella story we learned to want from childhood. After all, there wouldn’t be enough penthouses to go around.

But in a romance, all of these fantasies can come true, at least on the page. There was an age where the equivalent of passion would be a man and woman touching hands without wearing gloves, or being alone on a walk. They were the scandalous fantasies of their day, and authors wrote about them in the same manner I write about Keeli and Wyatt in the elevator, or Sloane and Randall in the garage. My beguiling bachelors are fantasy – millionaires, penthouses, gifts and hot sex with the threat of exposure.

SEX AND ROMANCE

Romances are the number one selling genre of fiction in the world. In the world!

The number of companies that publish romance is astonishing, from the large well known companies like Harlequin to small specialty houses like Evernight Publishing. Interestingly, the big houses are specialty houses too, frequently creating imprints based on the amount of sex the protagonists have in the novel. Harlequin, for example, describes their Blaze imprint as “fun, sexy and always steamy” but their Heartwarming series as “wholesome…with traditional values.” Simon & Schuster has a Crimson Romance imprint called “Wild and Wanton.” Need I say more?

I publish my own novels but I have been thinking about how I would describe my imprint if I had one. The long version would include the fact that the setting is in Chicago, but the short version might be “sexy stories bordering on the erotic between a rich successful hero and a strong independent heroine.” You notice I border on erotica, I don’t go there. Even I have a comfort/discomfort level with sex. I guess we all do.

You can’t please all the people …

I realize that I cannot write a novel that appeals to everyone. But I can write several novels and eventually hope to make most of my readers happy. Of course, a happy audience is why I write.

So, dear readers, I ask you this. In a sentence or two,  what would YOUR ideal imprint be for the romance books you would want to read? Share your comments here or with me directly at maddy@madisonmichael.net

** REMINDER ** I will be a blog guest at Coffee Time Romance  this Monday, February 6. Please mark your calendars and come check it out. I will be answering questions and comments throughout the day.

Want more sex?

Here are two great sources for Erotica and Sexy Romances

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